I am feeling again like everything is passing me by at 100 miles an hour. It's like i'm stuck or paralyzed. Things around me change, but i am always the same old crabass. The same thing is always happening to me, i always feel the same. Crap crap crap. I don't want pity; it kind of makes me want to spit when i see that look on peoples faces or hear it in their voice.

Or maybe i don't feel like that at all. I am rather contradictory at the moment. Everything is going every which way in my brain. Everything is possible, nothing is possible. Too many different truths. It makes my head hurt and gives me an intense impulse to stab out my eye.